Postscript to below

I used to be far better at carving out time to write: now I write at a snail’s pace and forget which notebook I wrote it in before I manage to write it here. I had mainly written the post below when I read Marianne’s post about how people see us, and I think they are related.

We show a face to the world, and whether it is all of our face or only an aspect of it, how it is interpreted is dependent on other people’s willingness to see it. I think I see all of the people I love best, but I’m observer by nature: I watch out for the half-seen glimpses. I’m sure I’m as guilty as any one else of projecting my own image of someone else onto people I’m less interested in, though: I accept my impression of them, and don’t look further. I think that my loved ones are more talented and interesting than everyone else because I have been willing to let them reveal themselves: there has been something in them to attract me to them enough that I have wanted to look below the surface. By the same token, there has been something in me that has made them let me reveal myself (and maybe, with lovers, that’s what they actively look for: they look to find something that will let them justify taking a risk in return for a contained emotional and sexual freedom). Whether they are friends or lovers, I love them for seeing me.