This post is a general lacklustre whine (but where is the sex, you whine back? It’s here, it’s happening, it’s going on in almost interchangeable hotel rooms across the globe (OK, Europe), and very soon it will be happening in purple prose right on this very blog. But not yet).
The title of this post is a search term that came up with this page. I like it. I have long legs and curves, and I am sometimes naked, showing off all of those attributes, plus a few bonier bits. I also like “fucks with men’s heads”, “fuck me with chocolate”, “rupert naked penis” (right here). I don’t like: “prepubescent little tits” (they aren’t that bloody small 
), “no arms no legs naked women getting fucked” (just no), “naked vulgar” (I am so not vulgar) “pull my hair fuck me” (pull my hair and I will castrate you), and I am just confounded by “naked clit whore slap knees”, not to mention “do you have a fucking mental problem” (it’s a matter of opinion) and “insanity” (OK, that’s enough, now just fuck off please). Show some respect, people. If you enter some really disgusting search term (anything to do with underage sex, nonconsensual sex, or raddled old bags, for instance), please don’t click on me. Let me preserve the illusion that it’s my beautiful mind my readers want, please.
OK, we’ve done searches, now onto comments. I’m getting annoyed with Blogger-only comments. I can’t see any point in leaving comments that lead back to a blog on a life-support system, so I refrain. Anyone would think people didn’t want me commenting on their blogs. And while we’re on the subject, and I’m kind of whining, can I just say that people who never respond to comments really annoy me? I freely admit that half the comments I leave don’t really merit a response, but it still annoys me. I also admit that I’m pretty crap at responding to comments here with the care they sometimes deserve, but I’m still annoyed at habitual non-responders, damn it.
Next up: my spam folder. I don’t want a loan. I don’t want to re-mortgage. I want a credit card, and free money, so why are none of you fuckers offering me one of those? I also don’t want a c0ck, dlick, giant shl0ng, or anything else that will make her scream in agony, gasp in horror, roll her eyes in disbelief or fall about laughing. I like what I’ve got, thanks, and when I need a cock, I can borrow one.
Anything else? Oh yes, how about sexbloggers who don’t blog about sex? Now they really are irritating. I don’t really know why I’m not doing it. I have a notebook full of half-started, half-finished posts, that won’t resolve themselves. I’m not sure what’s holding me back. Not diffidence, exactly. Over-tiredness, and confusion about mirrors and conflicting roles, I believe. So until then, just hold the naked-with-long-legs-curves thing in your head, and add the beautiful mind thing to it, and it’ll all be fine.
March 5, 2008 at 9:27 pm
*so pathetically grateful i answered your comment at my place, even though you slid in under the wire….*
March 5, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Yes, let’s bitch. I agree with all of the above (you wouldn’t believe the horrible searches I get… actually, you might), but you know what irks me most is that you put me under ’safe’. I am obviously getting old.
March 5, 2008 at 9:51 pm
P.S. Great breasts.
[Just sayin'.]
March 5, 2008 at 10:40 pm
FN, you see, you are just good’un. You just can’t help yourself
Ani, safe? You? Check again, my precious. And thanks for the titcomment. But what about my mind? Bitch!
March 6, 2008 at 4:47 am
man, that must feel great to get off your …mind. i even like your writing when you’re going off.
March 6, 2008 at 11:47 am
I don’t often respond to comments by commenting - but I will often email people who leave comments.
And I never comment on Blogger blogs, because I can’t access it on a full PC and blogger doesn’t work on a Pocket IE. I usually email though.
March 6, 2008 at 6:28 pm
You have long legs?
Oh… that’s not what this was about. Right. Yes, the blogger only comments thing bugs me, too. I finally set up a blogger profile to use, with a link on it to my WordPress blog.
March 6, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Why Z, I’ve always thought you beautiful, thoroughly enjoying the photos you post for us! But it’s your mind, and your incredible use of words that keep me coming back for more. And more. And more. And more…..
March 6, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Max, I wish it was more titillating stuff I was getting off my mind, but maybe now this stuff is cleared out I can concentrate more on the good stuff
Mendicatus, that works, but sometimes when you see a blog with unresponded to comments, it just seems as though the writer is unconcerned, and then you wonder why comments are even allowed.
Marianne, yes
And… duh! I’m not as smart as I like to fool myself I am, sometimes.
Akrazael, you say the sweetest things
March 6, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Mostly, I do like to reply to comments as it seems only polite if someone has taken the trouble to do so. But, on certain posts I dont respond because I think the piece said everything I wanted to say and I dont want to feel like Im explaining or justifying myself. Anyway, Im just bitter cos you got naked and long legs curvy
March 7, 2008 at 9:48 am
Despite being short, I also have long legs. Then again, maybe I’m just exceptionally short-waisted. Bloody good rant, Z, and I agree totally about blogger-restricted comments or any comment option where I have to type in a string of letters and/or digits to gain access to the sacred chamber. It’s tedious, offends my sensibilities and very off-putting. Oh, and did I mention that I hate Blogger? And I don’t want an effing Blogger profile either.
Ooh. I’m crabby. Overworked and underfucked. ~kisses~
o xxx
March 7, 2008 at 10:23 am
I get a lot of really weird searches that hit my blog as well, like granny sex and such like - it might be because I put stuff like that in the tags…..
I also get snowboarding in Aya Napa a lot - does ’snowboarding’ have some strange double meaning? Gmail by the way seems to screen out a lot of the spam viagra and such like emails…
March 7, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Well, as is my usual way, I’m feeling like all worried and insecure now. Is my blog one of those blogger-only- offender things? Do I not reply often enough to my commenters? Am I inadvertently offending such lovely bloggers as the incomparable Z? Could the lovely Z have been talking about me? Because you know, it is all about me after all. But seriously, is my blog comment averse? Oh, and what happened to the boobs picture? Damn, I missed it!
March 8, 2008 at 12:06 am
I’m to lazy to try to find somewhere else to blog at.
No sex, it’s been a while, and originally started out as to be sex, but personal life has been hell, more than hell - I almost walked over the holidays (which says a lot with 4 kids, I was going to leave them too). Trying to fix it, it’s hard to feel sexy, think sexy and write sexy when you’re desperately attempting to fix a marriage you’re not sure you really want to fix.
Now that I made the decision to stay, since I couldn’t picture life without all of them, I’m trying to suffer through and make the best, but still not much in the way of sex stuff. Just corsettry - I allow it to take up all my free time, that and Guitar Hero (grin).
March 8, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Guilty on several counts…… Will amend my wicked ways
March 8, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Thanks Z for redirecting the “Rupert Naked Penis” traffic, it’s odd sometimes what people search for, I should post my recent searches up also as they are slightly odd at the best of times.
xoxo Rups
March 8, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I’m a habitual comment responder. So much so I’ve been guilty of emailing my response back to the poster as well as posting it. I just stopped that practice. I started feeling slightly stalkerish. LOL
You have a great mind. It’s so firm and round and plump and…oh wait..shit! Sorry was thinking about something else.
March 10, 2008 at 5:25 am
Cake, I have got lots worse than naked long legs and curvy
Orchidea, same here - I’m not so much short-waisted as no-waisted. There’s barely any space between ribcage and hips. It’s all in the proportions
Mutley, my gmail spam folder seems to be highly selective. I get different combinations of offers on each of my accounts, but they all offer me a bigger cock. Which is thoughtful, I guess, but somewhat uneccessary.
Fex, have a hug
While I quite agree that is *is* all about you, it’s also all about me. And her. And him. And them. I have no idea what happened to the boobs picture - it must be shy.
Musns, I’m sorry you’re having a hard time
But I think that blogs inevitably change over time, and I was really complaining about myself. And your corsets are beautiful.
Sabine, well, you do have an excuse - several, in fact.
Rups, I quite often get searches for you, and I never even published my “I’m besotted with Rupert” post!
Fury, I never thought it was stalkerish. And yes, my mind is gorgeous
March 11, 2008 at 2:44 am
*blush*
Thank you - I’m really close to putting up a site selling corsets, actually. I have a couple more to finish up and then have my ‘photographer’ take the pics and get them on the site (he’s also doing the scripting for it).
March 11, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Hang on a sec … I did have something valuable to add to this discussion but it’s just occurred to me that I should go and check whether I’ve actually responded to the comments you’ve left on my blog …
March 12, 2008 at 4:53 am
I hope I am not one of the guilty ones. I try to respond to my comments but sometimes I have to wait a day or two to get some time alone. I did fix your link over at my blog after I realized yours had changed. I thought the whole purpose of Open ID was to let all of us comment no matter where our blog called home. Of course, I may be just a naive blog newbie. Hugs!
March 13, 2008 at 11:43 am
Musns, that sounds like a brilliant idea. You could be the official Purveyor of Corsetry to the Blogosphere - tiy could have an official seal, and everything!
Ro, as you can see, I haven’t been that prompt myself. My excuse is that I haven’t had my own laptop, so I’ve been keeping my internetting to a minimum, for fear of leaving traces.
madambutterfly, I know how you feel about having to sometimes wait for time to do it. The problem is that some blogs don’t have Open ID, and only allow comments from blogger profiles. However, there is a way round it, and I finally got it once it had been pointed out to me several times…
November 6, 2008 at 1:53 am
SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 6, 2008 at 4:56 am
Anon, I prefer Strumpet, myself.